Wa-Cha! Hiyah!
Male announcer: And now
DREAMWORKS' kung fu panda: Legends of awesomeness.
[Grunts] [Gong rings]
♪ Hear the legends of the kung fu panda ♪
[Scatting]
♪ Raised in a noodle shop ♪
♪ Never seeking glory or fame ♪
♪ He climbed the mountaintop ♪
♪ And earned the dragon warrior name ♪
Ooh! Ahh! Yah!
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
[Scatting]
♪ Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom ♪
♪ And master the skills of bodacious and awesome ♪
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
[Scatting]
♪ He lives and he trains and he fights ♪
♪ With the furious five ♪
♪ Protect the valley, something, something ♪
♪ Something, something alive ♪
Ooh! Ahh! Uh!
♪ Kung fu panda ♪
♪ Legends of awesomeness ♪
Sweet!
[Kung fu shouting]
- Wah! - [Grunts]
[Groans] Okay. Whoo.
Shifu, I got back that mystical Shmageggy
that Hundun stole from us.
I think it's a belt maybe?
[Sighs] Put it with the others.
Po, i...
how come we keep so many of these
magic thingies around anyway?
Po, I need...
I mean, they keep causing trouble
and we never really use 'em for anything.
Po, I need you to track down
the crocodile bandits immediately.
Aw, I just got back and I haven't eaten since... okay,
I just ate a little something right before I came in here,
but I just got back.
Why Can't one of them go?
- Allergies. - Head cold.
- Too sweaty. - Seniority.
Don't wanna.
You'll go because I said so.
The Crocs have kidnapped baron Hsieh's child.
You need to find them at once.
[Sighs] Okay.
But when I'm the boss,
everyone's gonna get a break between assignments.
When You're the boss?
[Laughter] - Yeah.
What's "hehehehehe" supposed to mean?
Oh, po, we've been through this.
You're not really a leadership kind of guy.
- And you are? - Yes.
How do you know You're a leader?
Because You're going to do what I told you to do!
Well, only 'cause I want to.
[Yelps]
You don't wanna be the boss.
You'd have to give up being part of the team.
We need you, po.
Yeah, if we don't put something heavy
like you on one side of the barracks,
the whole thing tips over in high winds like,
whee-ooh, boom!
Right? [Laughter]
They don't think I could be the boss of anything.
I could be the bossiest boss ever.
Some day I'll show them.
I'll show them all.
Ugh, okay.
[Yelps]
[Grunts] Darn it, gah-ri.
We gotta be careful with this thing.
[Bones snap] [Whimpers]
We don't want the little guy to get hurt.
- Wa-tah! - Uh-oh.
- Yah! - [Grunts]
So it's true.
You abducted baron Hsieh's kid.
- Um, sort of. - What do you mean, "sort of"?
Baron Hsieh.
He's a hawk.
You took his kid.
Come on out little fella.
Whoa, the kid's young.
[Roars]
[Yelps]
[Groans]
[Grunts]
[Whimpers]
[Gasping]
Ha!
[Relieved sighing]
[Screams]
[Roars]
[Groans]
Solid impact.
[Chuckles]
Nice catch.
[Gasping]
[Sighs]
[Cracking noises]
Hey, there.
How you doing?
Ah! Ah!
Yeah, no. That's great.
Yeah, just fly home.
Don't worry about us.
Oh, darn it!
We were this close to ransoming that egg... kid... guy.
Now we got nothing.
Come on, back to the hideout.
You mean your mom's basement?
Which I call the hideout!
Uh, guys, I think the puffin's really hurt.
'Course he is.
Those who defy the will of the croc bandits
must pay the... ooh, wow.
He really is hurt.
[Grumbles]
Put him in the thing.
[Groans]
You think he's gonna be mad when he wakes up?
[Groans]
Don't freak out!
Okay.
Wait, You're not mad?
- Who's not mad? - You.
You who?
Yoo-hoo to you too, dude.
No, I mean who's you?
Who's... who... who am I?
Wait.
You... you don't remember who you are?
No, sir, I do not.
You're po and You're the dra...
You're po and You're one of us.
I'm a crocodile?
A furry black and white crocodile?
Uh, yes.
Um, let me help you up.
You're the rarest kind. [Chuckles]
And we are all bandits.
All of us.
Like, all of us together... Yeah.
I don't feel all that bandit-y.
Oh, trust me.
You, sir, are a top bandit.
Top?
Like I'm the boss?
D-no... wait.
Um... Um, hmm.
Uh, you know... Sure.
But, like, I'm your trusted advisor.
I mean, you listen to me a lot.
Whoa!
You know what, yeah, you are the boss.
I'm getting mixed messages.
[Chuckles] In that case,
let's go steal... Things!
Abaci! Get your Abaci here!
Abaci!
Get your Abaci!
So I just take that guy's money
and don't give him anything?
It doesn't really sound fair.
It's not fair.
That's what stealing is.
Break a leg, buddy.
Abaci!
Get your Abaci here!
Oh, hey, po.
Aha! You recognize po,
leader of the fearsome crocodile bandits!
[Laughs]
Crocodile ba... [Laughs]
Oof!
[Groans]
Wow.
I rock at this.
What's happening?
Po is robbing that guy.
That's not the po I know.
- I Can't believe it. - [Yelps]
Didn't he already have an evil twin before?
That was awesome.
You are the best, buddy.
- You really think so? - Totally.
Let's try that a couple more times
to make sure you have the hang of it.
Wa-tah!
[Yelps]
[Chokes]
[Punching noises] - Hey!
Excuse me!
[Whimpers]
[Screams]
[Angry murmurs]
[Laughs]
I love stealin'.
[Angry murmurs]
What is going on here?
He took all my Abaci!
He stole my favorite h...
wait till I get my hands on him!
Po did all this?
There must be some explanation.
He was with the croc bandits.
They were calling him their boss.
[Sighs]
Spread out and find him at once.
Try not to hurt him.
Try hard or just sort of try?
[Sighs] Okay.
You're fantastic, boss.
You may be the greatest bandit ever.
Oh, stop.
And You're the best trustedest advisorest ever.
Aw, fist bump.
Boom. Makin' it rain.
[Chuckles]
Why does this place smell familiar?
Uh, because it's so successful?
Awesome! Let's rob it.
We gotta keep him away from stuff
that might bring back his memory.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, boss, hold on a second.
About Mr. ping's noodle shop,
we got this agreement with him, right?
Um, if we don't rob him he gives us free noodles.
So, I don't know.
Wanna give up the noodles or... po!
[Frustrated grunts]
Come with us, po.
Wait a sec.
I feel like I know these guys.
Of course you do.
They're like your sworn and mortal enemies.
That's it.
[Roars]
[Groaning]
Po, We're here to help you.
You can help by kissing my fist!
With your mouth... Parts!
- Wa-tah! - [Groans]
Let's get out of here.
Next time I won't go so easy on you.
Guys, this is amazing!
We just have to make sure po doesn't get his memory back
and we'll be the greatest bandits in history.
But, uh, don't... don't you feel bad
that We're kinda taking advantage of him?
Darn it, gah-ri!
We're supposed to do bad stuff.
That's why We're called bad... Nits.
Anyway, don't feel bad about it.
I don't feel bad about it at all.
Mmm.
Fung, your mom makes the best honey cakes.
You didn't leave us any?
Nah. Mmm.
So, guys, I've decided We're gonna head back
to the village and rob that noodle shop.
But we Can't rob Mr. ping.
He's your fa... Vorite cook!
Remember?
I told you we have the arrangement.
I'm the boss and I say that There's a new arrangement
where we rob that shop.
But...
end of story.
That's a good story.
Got a couple of notes.
So po has lost his memory and he thinks he's a...
a crocodile bandit.
For the good of the valley of peace, we have to stop him.
Find po, hit him hard, hit him fast, bring him down.
Dreams do come true.
[Gasps]
All noodles half price for the next 15 minutes.
With special seasoning.
[Gasping]
What's going on here?
[Gasping]
Okay, party people,
prepare to be robbed most bodaciously!
Very funny, po.
Come into the kitchen and help me with my special noodles.
The secret ingredient is floor.
[Groans] - Hand over your money.
Don't make me get all kung Fuey on you.
- What? - [Gasps]
There's no time for chit-chat, boss.
Um, let's just, you know, stay focused on the task at hand.
[Money jingles] - [Giggles]
[Gasps] Have you lost your mind, po?
You seem familiar.
Of course I'm familiar.
I'm your father.
[Gasps]
[Laughs]
Yeah, right.
How can you possibly be my dad when You're a goose...
- Well... - And I'm a crocodile?
That's crazy, right?
Am I right?
Hang on.
Uh, I got this guy, boss.
Um, why don't you grab some loot?
[Muffled scream]
Yeah, okay.
Hey, look what I found.
A whole lot of cool stuff.
Look.
Hey, those are po's action figures.
Hey, what you got there?
Um, you know, knickknacks, tchotchkes,
doo-dads, bric-a-brac, floogoos.
I'm just... [Snorts]
[Ceramics shatter]
Okay, time to go.
But the loot!
Oh, we got plenty.
Let's go, go, go.
There he is.
Don't let him get away.
Po, you get back here at once, young man!
You're grounded.
You are grounded!
Po.
Looks like we got about 30 yuan and some noodles.
These taste funny.
This is pathetic.
We need a big heist!
Something really spectacular.
If I'm the leader, I'm gonna lead us to greatness, right?
Um.
I got it.
What's that, uh... that big fancy place
on top of that Mountain?
Wha... you mean the jade palace?
Yeah, We're gonna rob the jade palace.
[Gasping]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[Chuckles]
Let's dial this back a little, you know?
I don't think we wanna... darn it, guys!
[Gasps]
You're gonna do what I told you to do.
And I say We're gonna rob that palace's brains out.
And if anyone gets in our way, we crush them!
Crush, crush, squishy, squishy, crush.
[Pants] Stairs.
♪ Hear the legend of the crocodile bandits ♪
[Scatting]
Come on, sing!
All: ♪ hear the lesson of the... [Mumbling] ♪
Would you guys at least try?
We're a team.
No, Mr. bossy boots.
We're a team, You're the boss.
Fine.
I am the bandit king!
That's what I'm thinking of calling myself now.
What do you think?
I wanna go home.
No way.
We're going straight to the top.
Once the bandit king destroys these jade palace guys,
who's gonna stop us?
Uh, what do you mean when you said, "destroy"?
Wa-tah!
Destroy.
Gah.
Kyah!
Okay, archenemies.
We are here to croc your world!
Oh, my gosh.
"Croc your world"?
That's so great!
I Can't believe we haven't been saying that for years.
Croc your world! Gonna croc your world!
Please don't ruin it like you ruin everything.
Yoo-hoo, the bandit king wants to do some punchy punch.
Where is everybody?
They're all out looking for you.
I just gotta fight one funny-looking old guy
with a point nose and a mustache
that looks like yesterday's noodles?
This is gonna be easy.
If you believe that,
you really have forgotten everything.
Uh, should I be worried about... agh!
[Pants]
[Roars]
You got this, buddy.
Croc his world.
Croc his world!
[Grunts]
[Excited panting]
Kyah!
[Ghostly moaning]
Po, I know you don't remember me,
but you have to try.
[Growls]
[Groans]
[Strained grunting]
I don't want to hurt you.
Then this is your lucky day.
[Groans]
Wha?
Stop it, guy!
I lied, okay?
You're not a bandit.
You're the dragon warrior and We're, like, enemies and junk
and that's how it's supposed to be
and this is all just wrong, wrong, wrong!
[Sighs]
I should have known.
You wanna be the boss.
- Um... - You're trying to trick me
into thinking I'm good.
Hold it right there.
Oh, thank gosh you guys are here.
Whoa. Unexpected.
Crocs, attack!
[Sighs] Fine.
Then I order myself to kick these guys' butts.
[Groaning]
You think you can stop me?
No. One. Can. Stop. Me!
[Groans]
It's over, old man.
There's only one boss around here and it's me.
Look in that box.
Dolls?
Not dolls.
Action figures.
I am the dragon warrior.
Oh, my gosh!
Shifu, what happened to you?
Well, you just beat the heck out of me.
[Scoffs] Yeah, right.
Wait, you don't remember anything?
About how we were friends and then you went all nuts
and I kinda saved the day?
[Gasps] I do remember...
That You're mom makes awesome honey cakes!
Right. I give up.
So get up and take us to prison.
Nah, you know what? Just forget it.
We'll take ourselves.
Oh, Fungy, You're just gonna give up?
Can't you see We're not cut out to be bandits?
I mean, we've been doing this for years
and our hideout is still my mom's basement.
Gah.
You know what, it's time we go straight.
[Gasping]
Right after we do our time in prison.
Eh, why not?
I got a nice garden going there.
Hey, hey.
I don't know why, but I feel like I should thank you.
Don't mention it.
Yeah, maybe we... maybe we can do something when you get out.
You know, something that doesn't involve punching each other.
[Chuckles] Yeah.
'Cause, yeah, we've been punching hard, so yeah.
Oh, sounds good.
That sounds real good, guy.
Po, I guess I was wrong.
You do have what it takes to be a leader.
An evil, misguided, destructive leader.
[Chuckles] Thanks,
but why Would I want to be a leader?
It's better to be a part of team with all my friends.
Right, guys?
You just beat us up.
Oof. [Chuckles]
Well, looks like everything's back
to what passes for normal around here.